Recently I have felt overwhelmed by an even greater realisation and understanding of how totally blessed I am , how much I have. I fall so short in my appreciation and gratitude- not that I am totally unaware or never acknowledge but that in spite of this I still have a great inability to grasp - totally human or what ?
My eyes are often drawn away from the things that truly matter , the things that last and for sure the things that I want to put my time in to.
I am lost at times in despair of my human nature, what about my Joy of COMPLETE freedom. I am lost in understanding why I do things that are not my heart, why I worry and panic about what is next, when I have been blessed beyond belief in safety and security in Christ. However do I truly realise and grasp how safe and secure I can feel in Him is this what I place my hope in and do I let it equip me and satisfy me? Do I truly take on what these things mean and not let them wash over me as often words do, how do I use this tangibly and daily?
I find myself overwhelmed of the blessing to simply be, to be 'a something.' I often think of the words expressed by Edward Hale an American Author:
"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. "
At times I am often side tracked in my inabilities to be; to be someone who is driven to make a difference. I realise in my thinking how totally blessed I am; that everything that I have experienced in my life so far has shaped and moulded me into whatever or whoever I am now. That I am one, that I can do things - but the biggest realisation for me is the recognition of how this is all possible- that God has given me an unbelievable gift of Grace.
Monday, 19 September 2011
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Extraordinary in 'Ordinary'...
For some unknown reason I mustered up some courage, took some brave pills and ventured solo to a local Presbyterian Church to see if I could help out/ find out some more about the outreach they were doing with homeless families. The programme involves the families staying at the church for a week with the provision of being cared for, fed and having shelter and primarily to feel love. I didn’t really know what to anticipate or what to expect and didn’t even know any other volunteers never mind families, I remember thinking as I arrived what am I doing here but I felt prompted in my thinking of ah you’re here now so just go for it! Yikes! I did not expect to experience what I did.
Stats: J – Middle aged woman probably around 50, possible mental health issues. Two children, boy aged 17 and daughter of 8- met the daughter. Told me about her life- comes from a place she kept referring to as ‘the island’ ‘the island’ – later it became apparent she was referring to an Island between Australia and the Philippines. My geographical skills let me down as usual; thankfully J was able to point out her island to me as we passed a world map in the corridor.
J was open and honest about her life, she told me many things that had made her journey difficult and many struggles they have as a family. My introduction with J was a somewhat unique experience as she never actually introduced herself but casually chipped in with contributing remarks to a conversation I was having with another volunteer. In my mind I had thought that J was part of one of the families taking part in the programme, I am left reeling in hindsight as I realise how arrogant this approach, even if somewhat justifiable, as I discovered she was not. J began to unfold her life story to me as we stood in the doorway of the room were the children were being entertained with arts and crafts. Although her son, Gideon, was not present she introduced him to me and told me of how he was a 17 year old and that she was always worried and concerned about him, talking to him was difficult. J expressed that kids don’t want or appreciate their mother’s advice that he didn’t want to listen to her – I tried to assure her in a light hearted manner that his behaviour was totally typical and normal of any teenager of that age and she should get in contact with my mum! The transferal from a worried face to a laughing and more relaxed composure was great to witness and there seemed to be a sense of ease. J addressed her concern for how her son was lacking interest in returning to church, despair with ‘what has happened with him,’ remarks and that she wanted people to pray for him and asked another guy present to encourage him- she acknowledged to me that just sometimes guy to guy can do some good.
Our conversation developed further and was brought back to the presence of the room as next J brought to my attention her daughter, who was interacting with the other children and painting pictures at the table nearby. The move which brought J and her family back to Cleveland was motivated by the need of health care for her 8 year old joyful daughter, she expressed to me ‘she’s sick.’ A few moments past in which I was frantically debating with myself what do I say, how should I respond, should I inquire or hold back and see as previously J had been very much in control of the conversation. I waited, cowardly perhaps. Not long passed however, although it has potential to have seemed longer in my own mind, when J expressed ‘its cancer, it’s in her blood,’ in a low whispering voice , which was clearly a lot louder than what was probably intended. At this point I realised that her daughter who was not too far from earshot was probably able to hear and perhaps not that unused to such. There is better medication and facilities here I was told and that the doctors now have the illness under control with an injection that is needed once a month, I was not told much more in terms of the severity. The needs that the family required were becoming more clear, J spoke of how she needed to work but if she did she feared the removal of her government help but that she did need more money as sometimes if her daughter is sick she needs to buy medicine over the counter which can be expensive. The weight and worry on this woman’s shoulders was being magnified to me and I really felt my heart feel the pain of her journey.
I asked at this point if J had any family, in my mind I thought there must be some help and support network or another reason to have made the trip back to Cleveland. Her mother was all she mentioned, but that she had mental health problems and that it was another person who she was responsible for looking after. Never once did I feel that she was bitter. The conversation also drew light on the fact that the father of her daughter had been killed in Iraq, again she did not go into details. She was aware by my responses how unfathomable I was finding all the information she was sharing and remarked that her life has just continued to spiral downwards whilst making the action with her hand. J then expressed that the one thing that she had never lost though was her faith. Wow, that’s it right there, if anything had potential to convict after such heart wrenching stories it was that bold statement. She assured me that she held to her faith and that she was carrying her cross. I assured her, as I attempted to fight my fear of speaking and selfishly wanting to remain in the comfortable ‘I’m listening zone’ that I would be praying for her and her family and that God has never and will never leave her that He will give her His strength, in my mind I was sure that these words would seem to fall so short. J turned to me with sincerity in her eyes and said yea I know you are right, thank you. I was sure my stumbling was insufficient but I knew in that moment that she knew; that she was someone of was tangibly and actively depending on Him, how humbling.
With bedtime for school tomorrow just around the corner mother and daughter prepared to leave, before leaving J asked me if I wanted to come and see their bikes, the method of transport for their short trip home. I agreed and we began the walk to the other end of the building, her daughter who I had no previous interaction with joyfully led me through the corridors. She told me to close my eyes and that she would guide me, she asked firstly though if I trusted her, in my demonstration I closed my eyes and she took my hand. As we walked she would ask “do you know where you are going?” “Do you still trust me?” I answered appropriately with the intention to spur her on in her quest, reassuring her that she was responsible. We made it to the place where the bikes were located, both as proud to show me their bikes, “that’s mom’s, this is mine”, J began to wheel her daughters bike up the exiting ramp. I was left in simple conversation with her daughter, asking me about my country, the language I spoke ( I don’t know why people seem to doubt my ability of speaking English here) – I was able to explain to her that I was from an island far away also. In the next moment she turned to me and her big brown eyes looking into mine and said “You know I’ve got your back,” I gave a gentle chuckle and expressed my thanks. She reaffirmed her statement and followed again with, “no really, I have your back. No matter where you go I have it,” my mind started racing as I looked at her again, her innocent childlike mannerisms, I’m sure she wondered why I probably displayed a baffled expression. Then she said “Even though I leave you now I have got your back, I promise,” wow, I couldn’t help but think this was something more. J returned and we exchanged our goodbyes, I said I hopefully would see her again and maybe on Sunday, she expressed how great it was to meet me and chat. As I watched the two make their way up the ramp I got reminded again “Remember I’ve got your back” by the gentle call back of the 8 year old, I smiled and waved them off.
As I made my way back to the other end of the church and began my journey home, I couldn’t help but to further think through that evening and the experience of meeting J. My heart was touched by her story, by her struggles and how she was wrestling with the things that life seemed to be throwing at her. I was struck at how much she was depending on God and realised that although outwardly and perhaps battling some mental issues, J was displaying an admiring maturing walk of faith as there was no doubt of how much she needed God and that she was aware of this. I felt humbled and thankful to have met such a woman, who had unintentionally encouraged me to hold firm to what I believed that nothing should waver my faith even in the times when it seems so hard. I thought of the verses in Habakkuk 3:17-19:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.
I realise we all interpret things in different ways and I guess I am someone who is a ‘thinker’, perceptive and strives to take in as many experiences as possible, although note able that this does not always happen. My experience with J’s daughter in hindsight felt so sur-real, that he constant eye contact in her assurance drew my attention to God. That He always says to me I will not leave you, even though I am unsure of what I am doing, where I am right now and the purpose to unfold, that I know He more than ‘has my back.’ I felt reminded that although I don’t always see God I know that He walks with me and that He is there, no matter where I go He is with me. I am blown away at how the innocence and joy of the young girl clearly demonstrated to me a child-like faith, a faith confident in the promises God so clearly gives us. That as we walk living with the Spirit in us – how awesome- we are to hold his hand, not to let go as we are not designed to do this without Him. The reminder of the friendship extended revived my acknowledgement of how we are to live together in community, united in Him , that He places us in a ‘pack’ where we are to encourage each other in the everything is going great days to the ah I don’t know what is happening moments, days, weeks. Despite the culture and the fast movement of the world telling us constantly that maturity is to become independent- something which I am really trying to grasp and wrestle with in a new environment, surroundings and people – this indoctrinated view does not hold water to the undeniable power of the Gospel. Living in a relationship with Christ and knowing that we are His is totally the opposite process, against the grain of society; maturity as a Christian is surely to recognise the need to grow into dependence. To be made further aware of our total need of Him, that we should not be self-sustaining, but that we are weak and need to be empowered by Him and His spirit.
I feel so blessed and appreciative to God for this humbling experience and the joy to meet J, I think of her often bringing her family to Him in prayer. In my nature I long to do more, I want to be a ‘fixer’ but I am learning that many great people encourage me and cross my paths daily from housemates to friends, to family to friends of friends to the general public, and that they all leave lasting impacts and that it is my responsibility to understand the true gift of relationships and the joy of being involved in people’s lives and especially how unfathomably special it is when people feel they can open up and reveal more of their lives to you. I never want to take this for granted or to never realise how undeniably unique and special each experience is, even if it is a hard or negative one at the time. I know God brings people into our lives and I think we should all be more aware of this and not let things slip by us or be passive in our experiences. I am evermore blown away as I travel and spend time in another country of how much I have been beautifully blessed by the many encounters I am having with people. It is all about people, others- serving and giving time. I am sold out on the heart issue of loving people and tangibly displaying this in daily life, although I know I fall so short-how much I need the Holy Spirit to equip me and show me how. I want to see people as God does and to let Him break my heart.
Stats: J – Middle aged woman probably around 50, possible mental health issues. Two children, boy aged 17 and daughter of 8- met the daughter. Told me about her life- comes from a place she kept referring to as ‘the island’ ‘the island’ – later it became apparent she was referring to an Island between Australia and the Philippines. My geographical skills let me down as usual; thankfully J was able to point out her island to me as we passed a world map in the corridor.
J was open and honest about her life, she told me many things that had made her journey difficult and many struggles they have as a family. My introduction with J was a somewhat unique experience as she never actually introduced herself but casually chipped in with contributing remarks to a conversation I was having with another volunteer. In my mind I had thought that J was part of one of the families taking part in the programme, I am left reeling in hindsight as I realise how arrogant this approach, even if somewhat justifiable, as I discovered she was not. J began to unfold her life story to me as we stood in the doorway of the room were the children were being entertained with arts and crafts. Although her son, Gideon, was not present she introduced him to me and told me of how he was a 17 year old and that she was always worried and concerned about him, talking to him was difficult. J expressed that kids don’t want or appreciate their mother’s advice that he didn’t want to listen to her – I tried to assure her in a light hearted manner that his behaviour was totally typical and normal of any teenager of that age and she should get in contact with my mum! The transferal from a worried face to a laughing and more relaxed composure was great to witness and there seemed to be a sense of ease. J addressed her concern for how her son was lacking interest in returning to church, despair with ‘what has happened with him,’ remarks and that she wanted people to pray for him and asked another guy present to encourage him- she acknowledged to me that just sometimes guy to guy can do some good.
Our conversation developed further and was brought back to the presence of the room as next J brought to my attention her daughter, who was interacting with the other children and painting pictures at the table nearby. The move which brought J and her family back to Cleveland was motivated by the need of health care for her 8 year old joyful daughter, she expressed to me ‘she’s sick.’ A few moments past in which I was frantically debating with myself what do I say, how should I respond, should I inquire or hold back and see as previously J had been very much in control of the conversation. I waited, cowardly perhaps. Not long passed however, although it has potential to have seemed longer in my own mind, when J expressed ‘its cancer, it’s in her blood,’ in a low whispering voice , which was clearly a lot louder than what was probably intended. At this point I realised that her daughter who was not too far from earshot was probably able to hear and perhaps not that unused to such. There is better medication and facilities here I was told and that the doctors now have the illness under control with an injection that is needed once a month, I was not told much more in terms of the severity. The needs that the family required were becoming more clear, J spoke of how she needed to work but if she did she feared the removal of her government help but that she did need more money as sometimes if her daughter is sick she needs to buy medicine over the counter which can be expensive. The weight and worry on this woman’s shoulders was being magnified to me and I really felt my heart feel the pain of her journey.
I asked at this point if J had any family, in my mind I thought there must be some help and support network or another reason to have made the trip back to Cleveland. Her mother was all she mentioned, but that she had mental health problems and that it was another person who she was responsible for looking after. Never once did I feel that she was bitter. The conversation also drew light on the fact that the father of her daughter had been killed in Iraq, again she did not go into details. She was aware by my responses how unfathomable I was finding all the information she was sharing and remarked that her life has just continued to spiral downwards whilst making the action with her hand. J then expressed that the one thing that she had never lost though was her faith. Wow, that’s it right there, if anything had potential to convict after such heart wrenching stories it was that bold statement. She assured me that she held to her faith and that she was carrying her cross. I assured her, as I attempted to fight my fear of speaking and selfishly wanting to remain in the comfortable ‘I’m listening zone’ that I would be praying for her and her family and that God has never and will never leave her that He will give her His strength, in my mind I was sure that these words would seem to fall so short. J turned to me with sincerity in her eyes and said yea I know you are right, thank you. I was sure my stumbling was insufficient but I knew in that moment that she knew; that she was someone of was tangibly and actively depending on Him, how humbling.
With bedtime for school tomorrow just around the corner mother and daughter prepared to leave, before leaving J asked me if I wanted to come and see their bikes, the method of transport for their short trip home. I agreed and we began the walk to the other end of the building, her daughter who I had no previous interaction with joyfully led me through the corridors. She told me to close my eyes and that she would guide me, she asked firstly though if I trusted her, in my demonstration I closed my eyes and she took my hand. As we walked she would ask “do you know where you are going?” “Do you still trust me?” I answered appropriately with the intention to spur her on in her quest, reassuring her that she was responsible. We made it to the place where the bikes were located, both as proud to show me their bikes, “that’s mom’s, this is mine”, J began to wheel her daughters bike up the exiting ramp. I was left in simple conversation with her daughter, asking me about my country, the language I spoke ( I don’t know why people seem to doubt my ability of speaking English here) – I was able to explain to her that I was from an island far away also. In the next moment she turned to me and her big brown eyes looking into mine and said “You know I’ve got your back,” I gave a gentle chuckle and expressed my thanks. She reaffirmed her statement and followed again with, “no really, I have your back. No matter where you go I have it,” my mind started racing as I looked at her again, her innocent childlike mannerisms, I’m sure she wondered why I probably displayed a baffled expression. Then she said “Even though I leave you now I have got your back, I promise,” wow, I couldn’t help but think this was something more. J returned and we exchanged our goodbyes, I said I hopefully would see her again and maybe on Sunday, she expressed how great it was to meet me and chat. As I watched the two make their way up the ramp I got reminded again “Remember I’ve got your back” by the gentle call back of the 8 year old, I smiled and waved them off.
As I made my way back to the other end of the church and began my journey home, I couldn’t help but to further think through that evening and the experience of meeting J. My heart was touched by her story, by her struggles and how she was wrestling with the things that life seemed to be throwing at her. I was struck at how much she was depending on God and realised that although outwardly and perhaps battling some mental issues, J was displaying an admiring maturing walk of faith as there was no doubt of how much she needed God and that she was aware of this. I felt humbled and thankful to have met such a woman, who had unintentionally encouraged me to hold firm to what I believed that nothing should waver my faith even in the times when it seems so hard. I thought of the verses in Habakkuk 3:17-19:
Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
he makes my feet like the deer’s;
he makes me tread on my high places.
I realise we all interpret things in different ways and I guess I am someone who is a ‘thinker’, perceptive and strives to take in as many experiences as possible, although note able that this does not always happen. My experience with J’s daughter in hindsight felt so sur-real, that he constant eye contact in her assurance drew my attention to God. That He always says to me I will not leave you, even though I am unsure of what I am doing, where I am right now and the purpose to unfold, that I know He more than ‘has my back.’ I felt reminded that although I don’t always see God I know that He walks with me and that He is there, no matter where I go He is with me. I am blown away at how the innocence and joy of the young girl clearly demonstrated to me a child-like faith, a faith confident in the promises God so clearly gives us. That as we walk living with the Spirit in us – how awesome- we are to hold his hand, not to let go as we are not designed to do this without Him. The reminder of the friendship extended revived my acknowledgement of how we are to live together in community, united in Him , that He places us in a ‘pack’ where we are to encourage each other in the everything is going great days to the ah I don’t know what is happening moments, days, weeks. Despite the culture and the fast movement of the world telling us constantly that maturity is to become independent- something which I am really trying to grasp and wrestle with in a new environment, surroundings and people – this indoctrinated view does not hold water to the undeniable power of the Gospel. Living in a relationship with Christ and knowing that we are His is totally the opposite process, against the grain of society; maturity as a Christian is surely to recognise the need to grow into dependence. To be made further aware of our total need of Him, that we should not be self-sustaining, but that we are weak and need to be empowered by Him and His spirit.
I feel so blessed and appreciative to God for this humbling experience and the joy to meet J, I think of her often bringing her family to Him in prayer. In my nature I long to do more, I want to be a ‘fixer’ but I am learning that many great people encourage me and cross my paths daily from housemates to friends, to family to friends of friends to the general public, and that they all leave lasting impacts and that it is my responsibility to understand the true gift of relationships and the joy of being involved in people’s lives and especially how unfathomably special it is when people feel they can open up and reveal more of their lives to you. I never want to take this for granted or to never realise how undeniably unique and special each experience is, even if it is a hard or negative one at the time. I know God brings people into our lives and I think we should all be more aware of this and not let things slip by us or be passive in our experiences. I am evermore blown away as I travel and spend time in another country of how much I have been beautifully blessed by the many encounters I am having with people. It is all about people, others- serving and giving time. I am sold out on the heart issue of loving people and tangibly displaying this in daily life, although I know I fall so short-how much I need the Holy Spirit to equip me and show me how. I want to see people as God does and to let Him break my heart.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
U S of A
As I write this post I have been on my American adventure for almost two weeks
The first part of my trip consisting of a great trip to Philadelphia, enabling a catch up with some of my 'family' here before hitting Cleveland the destination of my 'home' for the next few months.
To Each their own:
1. One may first address the previous - Each to their own
2. Nobody refers to coffee as a 'cup of joe'
3. First Mac and Cheese experience good but red sauce a must
4. Red Sauce is not typically ketchup
5. Crossing the road feels like I risk my life
6. First introduction to using a baseball glove- fun. Knowledge of baseball- minimal
7. When attempting a 'light jog' it is no longer just the guy on your shoulder telling you that you are going to die due to the lack of oxygen getting to your lungs but the addition of his companion who also informs you that he is sucking up any sign of H2O there ever was in your body. Both assuring you of their presence
8. Camping- should be attempted
9. Tax - why is the total price just not shown?
10. Ice cream cake, you mystify me
11. Peanut Butter Avec Chocolate combination - 'drops of heaven'
12. Drive through everything - post office, chemist , ATM , Starbucks, etc - necessary?
13. Realisation to be aware of my mumbling/ nervous disposition and pay further attention to annunciation as to clearly demonstrate what language you actually speak
14. Ain't Nothing but Funny Money Baby
15. Experiencing family and having an american one here - overwhelming - Joyful
16. Rows of ice cream choices- potential trouble maker for indecisive behaviour
17. July 4th - carry a white flag or Fiji
18. Seeing a best you never get to see in normal everyday life - priceless
19. Peanut Butter and Jam -mmm.. previously unfamiliar staple?
20. Subtracting 32 , dividing by 9 and finally multiplying by 5 = Fahrenheit
21. You don't wanna put red sauce on chips
22. Sports Stores with Funny Names
23. Breakfast Bars- Beauts!
24. Driving longer than 6 hours will not have you feeling like you might fall off
25. Unpopularity of Kettles and boiling water on a stove - baffles me in respect to other accessibility options. Also how much water do you put in....
26. School buses I have a weird admiration
27. 'It's a small world' - You will find a connection somehow to someone whether it is completely random or a Best friend from homes husband's brothers best man... tedious link potential....
28. Disappointing people with the shattering news that actually no leprechauns are not real , never mind the pot of gold
29. Long Bus Journeys are achievable
30. Electric Converter - would of been a good thought
31. Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese , homely
32. The Irish - well thought of ... reality - potential to fail as I 'represent'
33. Tea should be more popular . Side note- Biscuits are all called cookies
34. Hanging out at an Island - Banter ! Adventure
35. Gone With The Wind - the movie. Four hours of an essential tool/opportunity to familiarise oneself with American History OR to embrace/ decipher for oneself's personal preference between the charm of the character Rhett vrs the 'perfection' presented of his co-star.. collaborate?
36. Be clear to distinguish clearly between 'fail' and 'feel' or you will feel like your failing
37. Graduate High School and we shall have a party.
38. Theme parks - yess
39. Wide Array of Christian Radio Stations - a whole new phenomenon
40. Peering down a whole in the floor board to see a face (an innocent drawing) looking at you - potentially minus banter if home alone.. just saying
41. Garage Sales and Thrift Stores - Yeehaa
42. Different States, are you actually different countries in disguise?
43. Experience a real smore with real american products - feels like a must
44. Technical Ability of Skype - further proving oneself
45. Managing not to loose something as you travel - still a working process
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it...
Wear Sunscreen
The first part of my trip consisting of a great trip to Philadelphia, enabling a catch up with some of my 'family' here before hitting Cleveland the destination of my 'home' for the next few months.
To Each their own:
1. One may first address the previous - Each to their own
2. Nobody refers to coffee as a 'cup of joe'
3. First Mac and Cheese experience good but red sauce a must
4. Red Sauce is not typically ketchup
5. Crossing the road feels like I risk my life
6. First introduction to using a baseball glove- fun. Knowledge of baseball- minimal
7. When attempting a 'light jog' it is no longer just the guy on your shoulder telling you that you are going to die due to the lack of oxygen getting to your lungs but the addition of his companion who also informs you that he is sucking up any sign of H2O there ever was in your body. Both assuring you of their presence
8. Camping- should be attempted
9. Tax - why is the total price just not shown?
10. Ice cream cake, you mystify me
11. Peanut Butter Avec Chocolate combination - 'drops of heaven'
12. Drive through everything - post office, chemist , ATM , Starbucks, etc - necessary?
13. Realisation to be aware of my mumbling/ nervous disposition and pay further attention to annunciation as to clearly demonstrate what language you actually speak
14. Ain't Nothing but Funny Money Baby
15. Experiencing family and having an american one here - overwhelming - Joyful
16. Rows of ice cream choices- potential trouble maker for indecisive behaviour
17. July 4th - carry a white flag or Fiji
18. Seeing a best you never get to see in normal everyday life - priceless
19. Peanut Butter and Jam -mmm.. previously unfamiliar staple?
20. Subtracting 32 , dividing by 9 and finally multiplying by 5 = Fahrenheit
21. You don't wanna put red sauce on chips
22. Sports Stores with Funny Names
23. Breakfast Bars- Beauts!
24. Driving longer than 6 hours will not have you feeling like you might fall off
25. Unpopularity of Kettles and boiling water on a stove - baffles me in respect to other accessibility options. Also how much water do you put in....
26. School buses I have a weird admiration
27. 'It's a small world' - You will find a connection somehow to someone whether it is completely random or a Best friend from homes husband's brothers best man... tedious link potential....
28. Disappointing people with the shattering news that actually no leprechauns are not real , never mind the pot of gold
29. Long Bus Journeys are achievable
30. Electric Converter - would of been a good thought
31. Tomato Soup and Grilled Cheese , homely
32. The Irish - well thought of ... reality - potential to fail as I 'represent'
33. Tea should be more popular . Side note- Biscuits are all called cookies
34. Hanging out at an Island - Banter ! Adventure
35. Gone With The Wind - the movie. Four hours of an essential tool/opportunity to familiarise oneself with American History OR to embrace/ decipher for oneself's personal preference between the charm of the character Rhett vrs the 'perfection' presented of his co-star.. collaborate?
36. Be clear to distinguish clearly between 'fail' and 'feel' or you will feel like your failing
37. Graduate High School and we shall have a party.
38. Theme parks - yess
39. Wide Array of Christian Radio Stations - a whole new phenomenon
40. Peering down a whole in the floor board to see a face (an innocent drawing) looking at you - potentially minus banter if home alone.. just saying
41. Garage Sales and Thrift Stores - Yeehaa
42. Different States, are you actually different countries in disguise?
43. Experience a real smore with real american products - feels like a must
44. Technical Ability of Skype - further proving oneself
45. Managing not to loose something as you travel - still a working process
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it...
Wear Sunscreen
Monday, 10 January 2011
A world of Visionaries.....
I have to admit that I am becoming evermore certain that I want to fight for dreams and visions to become tangible realities! I feel passion and excitement to discern what it is that God has for our lives, to grasp and make it happen. I mean why should we be held back by our fears of unattainable bench marks , our fear of failure or the fear of going against the grain. To truly live out what Paul claims in Philippians 3:8, "Indeed , I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord," do I really live this way? Do I rest easy knowing that my worth and assurance comes from Christ that He made me the way He wants me.. hmm honestly I greatly wrestle..
I often wonder therefore under what authority do I live my life. How do I use my voice, the power behind having a voice and the ability to be courageous and challenge.. I believe that every follower of Christ is called to make a stand under God's authority, how faithful am I to the fundamental calling of living by His word. I think of how Peter and John described, " for we cannot but speak of what we have seen or heard," (Acts 4:20) , that the greatest desire of my heart is to live out what has changed me (and hopefully will continue to work in me), what attracts my attention and has captured my heart...
Many times I feel we shy away from being bold and just deciding to go for things, perhaps what we grow up around has a bigger effect than we often think. I wonder if I 'pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on me', I wonder how much I grasp the total amazing reality that ' For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain', ( Philippians 1:21) this often encourages me to really want to discover what Christ wants me to stand for, how He wants to use me and use my voice, that while I am here, I am here for Him !
In my understanding to love and to do so spiritually we should recognise the undeniable stamp that Jesus gives ALL men, that this type of love is not wrapped up in desire but serves - beyond our greatest imagination of what this truly means, born out and bound solely to the word of Jesus Christ. This thing that has changed us , that has brought new understanding and desires - we owe to others! What I guess I'm getting to us that love and fellowship with others is not an ideal but a divine reality - 1 million percent spiritual.
For me I am greatly motivated to fight for others, I often hear ' Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute,' (Proverbs 31:8) resounding in my head or the challenge of James of True Religion to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world ( James 1:27) , I mean we all have this great responsibility and duty to fulfill.... I just long to grasp it more and more every day to never be unaware of others, to listen attentively to God to know His voice and to not simply be stirred by and fail to act - I long for authenticity, to walk humbly.
Admittedly at this point I just scratch on the surface of many things, much more could be said on many of the tangents I have thrown out here, I realise my ability to spiral in all sorts of directions, my thinkings out loud are so random..
I am greatly challenged by the words of Jim Belcher " When you talk about justice the world loves you, when you talk about Jesus the world hates you, " how much we must continue to strive for the proclamation of Christ , Jesus is Justice - the complete embodyment of, That proclamation and demonstration can never be divorced.
I just want to see a world not afraid to dream, I don't wish to be defined by accomplishments or success by any imagination- I want to hold firmly to the unfathomable knowledge that just by existing I hold soo much worth in God's eyes, ( something I feel that I am admittedly yet to fully grasp myself )yet I want to dream big - For Him !
I am left thinking of Lawrence of Arabia :
"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible."
Wow ! I hope we all strive to see more clearly our true potential in Christ , to dream and not be paralysed by fear .. Let's Go !
I often wonder therefore under what authority do I live my life. How do I use my voice, the power behind having a voice and the ability to be courageous and challenge.. I believe that every follower of Christ is called to make a stand under God's authority, how faithful am I to the fundamental calling of living by His word. I think of how Peter and John described, " for we cannot but speak of what we have seen or heard," (Acts 4:20) , that the greatest desire of my heart is to live out what has changed me (and hopefully will continue to work in me), what attracts my attention and has captured my heart...
Many times I feel we shy away from being bold and just deciding to go for things, perhaps what we grow up around has a bigger effect than we often think. I wonder if I 'pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on me', I wonder how much I grasp the total amazing reality that ' For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain', ( Philippians 1:21) this often encourages me to really want to discover what Christ wants me to stand for, how He wants to use me and use my voice, that while I am here, I am here for Him !
In my understanding to love and to do so spiritually we should recognise the undeniable stamp that Jesus gives ALL men, that this type of love is not wrapped up in desire but serves - beyond our greatest imagination of what this truly means, born out and bound solely to the word of Jesus Christ. This thing that has changed us , that has brought new understanding and desires - we owe to others! What I guess I'm getting to us that love and fellowship with others is not an ideal but a divine reality - 1 million percent spiritual.
For me I am greatly motivated to fight for others, I often hear ' Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute,' (Proverbs 31:8) resounding in my head or the challenge of James of True Religion to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world ( James 1:27) , I mean we all have this great responsibility and duty to fulfill.... I just long to grasp it more and more every day to never be unaware of others, to listen attentively to God to know His voice and to not simply be stirred by and fail to act - I long for authenticity, to walk humbly.
Admittedly at this point I just scratch on the surface of many things, much more could be said on many of the tangents I have thrown out here, I realise my ability to spiral in all sorts of directions, my thinkings out loud are so random..
I am greatly challenged by the words of Jim Belcher " When you talk about justice the world loves you, when you talk about Jesus the world hates you, " how much we must continue to strive for the proclamation of Christ , Jesus is Justice - the complete embodyment of, That proclamation and demonstration can never be divorced.
I just want to see a world not afraid to dream, I don't wish to be defined by accomplishments or success by any imagination- I want to hold firmly to the unfathomable knowledge that just by existing I hold soo much worth in God's eyes, ( something I feel that I am admittedly yet to fully grasp myself )yet I want to dream big - For Him !
I am left thinking of Lawrence of Arabia :
"All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible."
Wow ! I hope we all strive to see more clearly our true potential in Christ , to dream and not be paralysed by fear .. Let's Go !
Monday, 15 November 2010
Something there is that doesn't love a wall ...
This line has always stuck with me after studying good old Robert Frost, that and a few other old favourites... One farmer in complete predicament over why he and his neighbour continue to re-build a wall between them each spring..... 'Mending Wall'...
Something there is that doesn't love a wall...
Something there is that doesn't love a wall...
I guess it just gets me to thinking about the 'walls' we create in our lives - the intentional and those that we aren't even aware are present. The thought that these two men meet together in a habitual manner to purposely re-build the barrier between them and enforce the segregation that has just learnt to be, doesn't seem to sit easy with me. But I guess we are all guilty of building superfluous 'walls' with not much justification, - it definitely feels some what 'safer' with the necessity that we often attribute to the boundaries we find ourselves implementing. We all do it - even the guy in this predicament is guilty of taking action when the wall is damaged to rebuild.- somewhere inside of him he is only to happy to have that wall..
I guess it comes down to the fragility we hold and how it's not comfortable to feel vulnerable, it's our human tendency to want to protect ourselves to monitor who or what we let into Our lives.
This does bring about the challenge however of the 'walls' we place in relation to the community and togetherness God calls us to. Paul tells us'Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ,' (Galations 6:2), there is no denying how we are meant to let people help and support us, that it is in fact God's desire- Love is God's way. Not only to let people in but to be people ourselves who relate and get along side people and truly love and support.
There is no ignoring the fact however that many of us struggle in not letting our defensive mechanism have gates, that we avoid the entire process. I wonder if we realise however, the magnitude of walking in and out of someone's heart felt issues, to recognise what it is to share with them- although I am aware that many people do not find this an issue at all. The issue is deeply wrapped in trust, reliability and honesty - to step up and know that we can't just plunder in and out - every experience has a lasting effect. I strive to not only acknowledge these needs around me but to ultimately set out to grow to the opinion of Something there is that doesn't love a wall ... It is necessary to grasp the ultimately satisfying love and acceptance that comes from Christ and to make this Our first place of safe dwelling - that being totally open and honest with Him is something so precious and amazing. One totally wants to eradicate completely any risk of becoming self reliant, distant or unaware of others - yet on re-evaluating stance on things it is more than comforting to know the truth of the Gospel.
As we wressle with issues such as this and knowing ourselves in relation to others and being wise in that , at times I am admittedly left wondering the level of truth behind , “Good fences make good neighbours.” ?
-The humanity of defence and protection tackling the up most desire to love and become closer to God - it's time to get our hands dirty- in realising our challenges and not remain apathetic !
I guess it comes down to the fragility we hold and how it's not comfortable to feel vulnerable, it's our human tendency to want to protect ourselves to monitor who or what we let into Our lives.
This does bring about the challenge however of the 'walls' we place in relation to the community and togetherness God calls us to. Paul tells us'Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ,' (Galations 6:2), there is no denying how we are meant to let people help and support us, that it is in fact God's desire- Love is God's way. Not only to let people in but to be people ourselves who relate and get along side people and truly love and support.
There is no ignoring the fact however that many of us struggle in not letting our defensive mechanism have gates, that we avoid the entire process. I wonder if we realise however, the magnitude of walking in and out of someone's heart felt issues, to recognise what it is to share with them- although I am aware that many people do not find this an issue at all. The issue is deeply wrapped in trust, reliability and honesty - to step up and know that we can't just plunder in and out - every experience has a lasting effect. I strive to not only acknowledge these needs around me but to ultimately set out to grow to the opinion of Something there is that doesn't love a wall ... It is necessary to grasp the ultimately satisfying love and acceptance that comes from Christ and to make this Our first place of safe dwelling - that being totally open and honest with Him is something so precious and amazing. One totally wants to eradicate completely any risk of becoming self reliant, distant or unaware of others - yet on re-evaluating stance on things it is more than comforting to know the truth of the Gospel.
As we wressle with issues such as this and knowing ourselves in relation to others and being wise in that , at times I am admittedly left wondering the level of truth behind , “Good fences make good neighbours.” ?
-The humanity of defence and protection tackling the up most desire to love and become closer to God - it's time to get our hands dirty- in realising our challenges and not remain apathetic !
The Vision ......
So this guy comes up to me and says "what's the vision? What's the big idea?" I open my mouth and words come out like this… The vision?The vision is JESUS – obsessively, dangerously, undeniably Jesus.
The vision is an army of young people.
You see bones? I see an army. And they are FREE from materialism.
They laugh at 9-5 little prisons. They could eat caviar on Monday and crusts on Tuesday. They wouldn't even notice. They know the meaning of the Matrix, the way the west was won. They are mobile like the wind, they belong to the nations. They need no passport.. People write their addresses in pencil and wonder at their strange existence. They are free yet they are slaves of the hurting and dirty and dying. What is the vision ? The vision is holiness that hurts the eyes. It makes children laugh and adults angry. It gave up the game of minimum integrity long ago to reach for the stars. It scorns the good and strains for the best. It is dangerously pure.
Light flickers from every secret motive, every private conversation. It loves people away from their suicide leaps, their Satan games.
This is an army that will lay down its life for the cause. A million times a day its soldiers
choose to lose that they might one day win the great 'Well done' of faithful sons and daughters.
Such heroes are as radical on Monday morning as Sunday night. They don't need fame from names. Instead they grin quietly upwards and hear the crowds chanting again and again: "COME ON!"
And this is the sound of the underground The whisper of history in the making Foundations shaking Revolutionaries dreaming once again Mystery is scheming in whispers Conspiracy is breathing… This is the sound of the underground
And the army is discipl(in)ed.
Young people who beat their bodies into submission.
Every soldier would take a bullet for his comrade at arms. The tattoo on their back boasts "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain".
Sacrifice fuels the fire of victory in their upward eyes. Winners. Martyrs. Who can stop them ? Can hormones hold them back? Can failure succeed? Can fear scare them or death kill them ?
And the generation prays
like a dying man with groans beyond talking, with warrior cries, sulphuric tears and with great barrow loads of laughter! Waiting. Watching: 24 – 7 – 365.
Whatever it takes they will give: Breaking the rules. Shaking mediocrity from its cosy little hide. Laying down their rights and their precious little wrongs, laughing at labels, fasting essentials. The advertisers cannot mould them. Hollywood cannot hold them. Peer-pressure is powerless to shake their resolve at late night parties before the cockerel cries.
They are incredibly cool, dangerously attractive inside.
On the outside? They hardly care. They wear clothes like costumes to communicate and celebrate but never to hide. Would they surrender their image or their popularity? They would lay down their very lives - swap seats with the man on death row - guilty as hell. A throne for an electric chair.
With blood and sweat and many tears, with sleepless nights and fruitless days,
they pray as if it all depends on God and live as if it all depends on them.
Their DNA chooses JESUS. (He breathes out, they breathe in.) Their subconscious sings. They had a blood transfusion with Jesus. Their words make demons scream in shopping centres. Don't you hear them coming? Herald the weirdo's! Summon the losers and the freaks. Here come the frightened and forgotten with fire in their eyes. They walk tall and trees applaud, skyscrapers bow, mountains are dwarfed by these children of another dimension. Their prayers summon the hounds of heaven and invoke the ancient dream of Eden.
And this vision will be. It will come to pass; it will come easily; it will come soon. How do I know? Because this is the longing of creation itself, the groaning of the Spirit, the very dream of God. My tomorrow is his today. My distant hope is his 3D. And my feeble, whispered, faithless prayer invokes a thunderous, resounding, bone-shaking great 'Amen!' from countless angels, from hero's of the faith, from Christ himself. And he is the original dreamer, the ultimate winner.
Guaranteed.
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
I have always been aware of the great purpose that prayer has in living in relationship with God, it was in fact the amazing revelation that prayer had within my own life that further attracted me to wanting to know God more.
I feel unavoidably challenged however as to letting this passion dim, how can I refrain from continuously recognising the total blessing of being able to talk to God?
The undeniable gift that prayer is, not only within our personal relationships with God but as a community of believers exceeds anything beyond imagination, none the less I seem to fail in grasping this.
Personally I feel such a privilege when someone allows me to be a part of their journey, the special nature of being able to hear their heartfelt emotions.
I wonder if I take enough time to realise how precious people are, how valuable and of the much worth they hold, that they are continuously being battered from every angle by the opposition that they need people to pray and let their hearts be broken on their behalf, to not only feel their pain but to bring before the Father in heaven.
The realisation that when we pray for others that we are able to bring them back to the reality of God, to know His truth within their lives is what we hold to.
I feel incredibly aware of the possibility of bringing people myself, when God is the greatest comforter, ever.
I am blown away that the Creator of the Universe not only wants to listen to me but that He answers my prayers!
Do I put my whole trust and total belief in God- who does hear me, whose sovereign nature will prevail and who is the ultimate winner!
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