Whatever it takes....really?

I have been challenged so much recently about my ability to live my life with a heart set on wanting to know God more. I have been challenged about my ability to pray, 'God , bring me closer to You through this experience, whatever it takes..'

 Do I truly mean it? Am I really willing to go through anything , to under go whatever it takes to know God more - or am I happy praying the words without really undertaking the wealth of what I am saying. I admittedly struggle, I struggle to always respond to things in the right manner, to look at things with the attitude of whatever it takes. I realise though that the more I have been thinking about living life in this way, the more I have felt myself challenged in my mind when I do succumb to the struggle. I think to myself, you prayed whatever it takes, why are you now surprised that you are finding something hard. I am thankful though that this brings me to the realisation that yea I can't do things on my own, I am going to fail if I try to prevail in this way, that I am pointed back to God and His goodness to me.

I mean didn't He give me all that HE had, whatever it took He gave and gives me.

But what about when it hurts so bad , when it involves sacrifice or just does not make sense: when all our human emotions and thought filters are telling you , screaming at you to run, that this is not fair that at that moment in time those words of your rational heart beat don't even come close.

I  am someone who can get so easily fired up about the absolute heart ache of injustice in our world - from witnessing someone being ill treated during my daily routine, to the wider scale issues of our broken world- the overwhelming reality of young girls being trafficked , children with no homes,  discrimination, lack of food,water - I mean the list is endless....Then there is the personal struggles that we all experience each and every day, of our own nature. There is no doubt in my mind that soo many times these words are the last thing we would want to think about....whatever it takes.... ahh yea but maybe not that..that we all reach the place at some point when it hurts so bad..
There is comfort in knowing however that no matter what we are facing, how we are feeling or the greatest challenge we face that God knows- that He knows how we feel , that He has felt pain too..

Why think about 'whatever it takes' or wanting to know more? I guess it is a matter for me of not wanting to fall in to the trap of being 'content' at what I know and what I have experienced, I heard someone dishing out this advice not so long ago " Don't sit behind the curtain - open it to the fullness of God and all He has for you." And that's the core of it for me, nail on the head, I just truly long, despite all obstacles, barriers and disruptions that can come, to know what He has for me. His word assures me it to be of good, that those tough times, pain and wrestling are all more than worth giving it my all and affirming greater the mindset of whatever it takes. .

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” ~ Exodus 14:13

Random Thinking...

As I work more and more with the public , I have become baffled by the nature and wide array of many personalities. I am certain that I could recite many customer orders and requirements and almost have an accurate time of arrival for a few - at least a good idea of the window. I never seem to be amazed at how so many keep coming back and especially when getting the same things, many times on a daily basis. (must be the excellent service) However I realise more and more how we are so often driven and ruled by our routines and I guess habits, that our behaviour is just sometimes our default and the only way in which we know.
The more I have been thinking about it, the tedious connection led me to recognize in my own life things that I just do because I did it the day before or the previous week or because it just feels 'normal' - not saying that this is a bad thing. There is something that really appeals to me about having a routine and I love it when things go according to such, yet my challenge is what when it doesnt.. What when I wake up and my day takes a turn that I did not anticipate, when the 'safety net' is gone or the familiar is a distant memory. As much as I love routine and I guess the challenge I give myself at being 'good' at my own routine ; I  have really realised the need to take a step back and pretty much allow there to be times to just go with it, roll with it. I mean for me and my personality I know it is good for me to know what I need to do and when I need to do it etc  , however I must be able to challenge and at times move away from the norm. It is so easy to become stuck in the flow of things, stuck in doing what has to be done that you loose the ability to challenge and become more rigid. To set limits on yourself or to deem something impossible just becasuse it is above or different to the waters that you have been used to swimming in. To become complacent and move away from being able to dream, to do bigger things because like every other joe you become a 'creature of habit' mulling through life with eyes closed. Well thats sometimes how I feel I can be in my life , that I forget that God has a bigger purpose and desire in what is going on in my life than me just successfully following a pattern - that I myself designed - how wrong.

'Variants of the expression "to throw a curveball" essentially translate to introducing a significant deviation to a preceding concept ... '

~ Really I got to embrace all Curve balls knowing its not about what happens but how I respond and especially the reality of trying to further grasp how with God I cannot FAIL .... Phew !