Whatever it takes....really?

I have been challenged so much recently about my ability to live my life with a heart set on wanting to know God more. I have been challenged about my ability to pray, 'God , bring me closer to You through this experience, whatever it takes..'

 Do I truly mean it? Am I really willing to go through anything , to under go whatever it takes to know God more - or am I happy praying the words without really undertaking the wealth of what I am saying. I admittedly struggle, I struggle to always respond to things in the right manner, to look at things with the attitude of whatever it takes. I realise though that the more I have been thinking about living life in this way, the more I have felt myself challenged in my mind when I do succumb to the struggle. I think to myself, you prayed whatever it takes, why are you now surprised that you are finding something hard. I am thankful though that this brings me to the realisation that yea I can't do things on my own, I am going to fail if I try to prevail in this way, that I am pointed back to God and His goodness to me.

I mean didn't He give me all that HE had, whatever it took He gave and gives me.

But what about when it hurts so bad , when it involves sacrifice or just does not make sense: when all our human emotions and thought filters are telling you , screaming at you to run, that this is not fair that at that moment in time those words of your rational heart beat don't even come close.

I  am someone who can get so easily fired up about the absolute heart ache of injustice in our world - from witnessing someone being ill treated during my daily routine, to the wider scale issues of our broken world- the overwhelming reality of young girls being trafficked , children with no homes,  discrimination, lack of food,water - I mean the list is endless....Then there is the personal struggles that we all experience each and every day, of our own nature. There is no doubt in my mind that soo many times these words are the last thing we would want to think about....whatever it takes.... ahh yea but maybe not that..that we all reach the place at some point when it hurts so bad..
There is comfort in knowing however that no matter what we are facing, how we are feeling or the greatest challenge we face that God knows- that He knows how we feel , that He has felt pain too..

Why think about 'whatever it takes' or wanting to know more? I guess it is a matter for me of not wanting to fall in to the trap of being 'content' at what I know and what I have experienced, I heard someone dishing out this advice not so long ago " Don't sit behind the curtain - open it to the fullness of God and all He has for you." And that's the core of it for me, nail on the head, I just truly long, despite all obstacles, barriers and disruptions that can come, to know what He has for me. His word assures me it to be of good, that those tough times, pain and wrestling are all more than worth giving it my all and affirming greater the mindset of whatever it takes. .

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” ~ Exodus 14:13